Couples can have all kinds of problems as they spend more and more time with each other. Learning how to resolve those problems in an emotionally mature fashion is what keeps the relationship healthy. If there are issues that cannot be resolved, it may be necessary to seek out a professional. When those problems surround physical intimacy issues, then relationship therapy and maybe even sex therapy may be necessary if you want to save your marriage or relationship. Here is what you may discover by going through these types of counseling.
You and Your Partner Have Very Different Sexual Needs
Some people can go weeks, even months or years without having sex. Other people feel as though they should be having sex every day and get very frustrated when they do not. By going through relationship therapy, you may be very surprised to learn that your partner does not want or need sex as often as you do or as often as you think you should. This puts an intense strain on the relationship as your partner finds more ways to avoid being around you or avoid being near you. In return, you may seek out affairs outside the relationship, using the rationale that your needs should be met and are not. This drives a bigger wedge between you and your partner, who wants nothing to do with a polygamous partner. Finding out what sexual needs both of you have and finding common ground can help.
Your Partner is Impotent or Frigid
Men have impotency, and women are frigid. Neither condition is one that any couple wants to address, since the root of these issues often lies in past sexual trauma or abuse. Unfortunately, you will need professional help to work through impotency and frigidity because pushing a person with these psychological and sexual issues to have sex only causes him or her to relive the trauma or abuse all over again. Thus, your pushing to have sex with your partner makes the situation worse, not better, and a sex therapist and/or relationship counselor can help with that.
Insecurity or Medical Problems
Personal insecurity about one's appearance when naked or sexual performance issues can also cause one or both partners to shy away from physical intimacy. Your therapist will help by giving you tips on how to start things slowly and have a conversation that helps your partner feel less insecure and more confident. If there are any medical problems or medical complications that prevent a healthy sex life (e.g., low testosterone, low progesterone/estrogen, nerve damage, etc.) then you may be referred for medical tests to help rule out these problems while you continue therapy and counseling.
Contact a professional such as Jayne Weatherbe Relationship & Sex Therapy for more information about these services.